"You Better Pray"

I'm not much of a church go-er. But, since today is Sunday, I decided to wear this T-Shirt, I call "You Better Pray". And I do. Usually not for myself or selfish things ("God give me a Bentley" , "God send me a Man", "God I want Mo-Money", God, God, God...).Can you say SELF-CENTERED? When I was asked by a friend what I wanted for my 48th Bday ( and he woulda bought me probably anything I asked for), I said, "I want to be in the company of my Friends".

When I prayed the day before, I asked God the following : "God, for my Bday I want to be clean and sober and in the company of my friends (*Note- I hadn't drawn a clean and sober breath on my Bday since I was 17, and I hadn't had a Bday cake or Bday Party since then either. That's 31 years of no birthdays). Physically, I want to be healthy and strong ( *I've had HIV since I was 25 ) so that my human body doesn't get in the way of me doing what I seem to do best- bring a smile to someones face, to listen to someone in distress, to BE THERE for someone who is hurting. Spiritually, I want to continue to have this CONSCIOUS contact with you, so I "know" what the RIGHT thing is to do in EVERY situation I find myself. Mentally, I want CLARITY of Thought. Emotionally, I want Peace-of-Mind. I want these things because I want to be able to fulfill what I believe my PURPOSE is - to HELP someone who needs HELP, to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in this World on a daily basis. Thank you, Amen". Yea, it kinda surprised me, too, folks. I could barely believe what was coming outta my own mouth. But, since THE EVENT happened to me, and I was granted so many gifts in an INSTANT, that I thought it only RIGHT to HELP others where I can. I've pretty much have always helped others- that in itself is nothing new- but now it's a PURPOSE. A friend of mine once told me, as they turned their back on me because I was in the middle of my addiction, "Denny, the only thing that I believe is going to help you get off drugs is a Miracle, some kind of SPIRITUAL INTERVENTION." Well, as you have read in yesterdays posting, a Miracle did happen for me. THE EVENT gave me a sense of PEACE and Peace-of-Mind, something I NEVER had experienced before. Another friend said, after I told them about THE EVENT, that, "Denny, God ONLY speaks to those who REALLY need to hear it " And, believe me folks, anyone who has known me for very long knows that I NEEDED a damned good talking to by someone. I ask myself often regarding THE EVENT, "Why Me?" . I figure, "why not ME?". If anyone needed a Miracle, IT WAS ME.

Quote for the day : " God won't give me anything I can't handle! I wish He wouldn't put that much *Trust" in me. ** Mother Teresa (1976a.d.)